3 Steps To Writing a Non-Excruciating Sex Scene

[camrogers]

3 Steps To Writing A Non-Excruciating Sex Scene

“Rodney employed with rigour the triumphant length of his long-denied ladypleaser, meeting with gusto the quivering, expectant mound of Cynthia’s passion-engorged love pudding.”

Also includes a sample from Falling. This may end badly.


www.camrogers.net

Comments

[greylock]

I'm not sure there is such a thing, personally.
Well, maybe if it's short and over quickly so we can get back to the action.

(I hate the word kerchief for some irrational reason. Strange).

[camrogers]

"Don't overstay your welcome" is a pretty good rule of thumb.

[greylock]

Is this where I rant about all the pointless, pointless sex in A Game Of Thrones?
'Cause I can do that.

Because I can. I have a theory that the reason all the on-screen sex scenes are so dull is because the scenes in the book are so workman-like.

[camrogers]

Thrones does a good job of establishing the Dark Ages tone of the world in the workmanlike way it handles the basics of living and dying. Sex comes into that. That said I do sometimes get the feeling that it's only there, in the show, because it worked so well ratings-wise for things like Rome that it's become de rigeur.

One of the predictions Ron and myself made 20 years ago was that within out lifetime television would routinely feature actual, uncensored sex as part of the regular goings-on. I think we're progressing steadily toward that.

[greylock]

Thrones does a good job of establishing the Dark Ages tone of the world in the workmanlike way it handles the basics of living and dying. Sex comes into that.

You mean it wasn't all poofy sleeves and candlelight romps?

That said I do sometimes get the feeling that it's only there, in the show, because it worked so well ratings-wise for things like Rome that it's become de rigeur.

I think there is a bit of that. Some of it does work for character development, but it's so gosh-darn dull.

I think we're progressing steadily toward that.

I suspect you're right but... If I remember by history, the 'movie sex' boom of the 1970s was cur short by puritans, but they don't seem to be around anymore (plus, porn is *everywhere*, and no one complains about full frontal nudity that much anyone).

That said, I do wonder if there is the volume acing talent who are prepared to go that extra mile. Then again, given how vapid Hollywood has become...

I can't help but if on-screen sex will always be a bit of a novelty away from pron. After all, you don't cast Sascha Grey as Lady Macbeth, do you?

And, there's the boredom factor. Movies like Ghostbusters XXX (the trailer was linked on io9) do look amazing, but five minutes of plot and 20 minutes or workman like sex, repeat for two hour. So, the actual interesting bits are not much more than what is in the trailers. And that's being kind.

[camrogers]

Some of it does develop character, definitely. In fact, I can't think of a sex scene so far that didn't.

I suspect you're right but... If I remember by history, the 'movie sex' boom of the 1970s was cur short by puritans, but they don't seem to be around anymore (plus, porn is *everywhere*, and no one complains about full frontal nudity that much anyone).

That's partly why I suspect it'll happen eventually. I mean it's already happened in films like The Brown Bunny between Chloë Sevigny and Vincent Gallo, and there was a scene with Johnny Depp and Christina Ricci in The Man Who Cried (or so rumour had it.) It's the prevalence of porn that's going to make actual sex onscreen not such a big deal, possibly even expected. Not with our generation, but maybe the next, and almost certainly the one after that.

I can't help but if on-screen sex will always be a bit of a novelty away from pron. After all, you don't cast Sascha Grey as Lady Macbeth, do you?

I think you're looking at it from the wrong angle. People went to see the last Fast and the Furious/i> movie largely because they wanted to see The Rock beat up Vin Diesel. People would also go to see two big stars get it on for real. Not anytime soon, but within twenty years I think so. Once the next generation start claiming stakes in Hollywood (or whatever replaces Hollywood).

[greylock]

People would also go to see two big stars get it on for real.

Oh, I suspect you are correct.
Stupid people.
I mean... the Fred Durst sex tape had a market and all.

[darren_stranger]

I think my last attempt at an "erotic" story ticked all of your boxes, except maybe the euphamism one. It's funny, i was just thinking about it the other day (the story, that is) and the bits that make me cringe pretty much corresponded to your first two rules (particularly the "what are you wearing?" angle - a side effect of trying to get every detail of a visual image into words, when half the fun of reading a story is illustrating it inside your head, maybe even for porn).

Re-reading it, i think perhaps there needs to be room for another rule (or maybe a subset of Step Two) in excessive analogy ("like a goddess" etc), though i guess there's no end to the rules you could keep adding.

[reddragdiva]

A row of asterisks is greatly underrated these days.

[camrogers]

I don't follow.

[reddragdiva]

In days of yore, the more genteel books would set up the scene, put a row of asterisks for a section break and the next scene would be the following morning. Nicely parodied in Asimov's What Is This Thing Called Love? (RTF).

[camrogers]

Ah right. And I agree. But your comment made me realise that that extract was the one thing that I actually felt really uncomfortable about posting, and could have made it an asset by comedically editing it.

Which I just did. Much better.

[camrogers]

Or are you saying that I should have edited the extracts?