Avatar Non-Spoiler Summary in 25 Words Or Less

"Only a White Guy can save us now! Teach our ignorant dirt-worshipping arses the ways of taking it to the limit! Save us, White Guy!"



3D was good though.

Did you know a team of scientists spent 10 years working out the physics for the female lead's boobs? One eighth of their lives. Take childhood and old age out of the equation and that's probably 20% of their actual lives.

If you've seen Dances With Wolves, Pocahontas or Fern Tree Gully you've kinda sorta seen this.

Alternatively, if they 'reimagine' the Smurfs with all the gravitas of Lord of the Rings, it'll probably be like this.

It's worth seeing for what it is. It's by the numbers, and James Cameron does by-the-numbers with greater deftness than most, but Jesus Christ... we as a race aren't entitled to tell stories about ourselves like this. Not yet. We don't deserve it.

(no subject)

In short:

In 2009 I lost my family home (and as a result my home town), my relationship, my cats, all of my cash, almost lost my mind through grief, was effectively homeless for a couple of months, spent the night of my 37th birthday sleeping on the street and my family ran into financial troubles so dire I thought they might be joining me.

In return I rediscovered who I actually am, regained my craft, discovered just how much I mean to my friends, found my direction, finished a screenplay and a novel, earned more money than I ever have in my entire life, met a girl who reminded me what this is supposed to be like and am about to realise a lifelong dream of traveling wherever the hell I feel like and getting into trouble globally.

So, in closing, thank you 2009... but if I ever see you again they will not find the body.