Photo-a-Day somethingsomething

Yesterday, at 8am, lobotomised by lack of sleep, I shambled out of here with all the world appearing and operating like an old-school text adventure.

>LEAVE HOUSE.
>W
>ENTER TRAINSTATION.
>WAIT
>WAIT
>WAIT
>ENTER TRAIN
>WAIT
>WAIT
>WAIT

One hour/5kilometres/four stops later I arrived at Flinders Street Station with no idea of how to get to the suburb I needed. Which is when I realised today was that day Connex Trains got the arse, because the central, open-plan infobooth had a new logo on it. There was no one in there except two slavies so I figured I'd try my luck.

>FORWARD

A middle-aged woman in a clean NEW(!!!) uniform pops up from whatever she was doing beneath the desk, like a startled. peroxided groundhog: wide-eyed and uncertain.

> SAY "HOW DO I GET TO (SUBURB)?"

There is a moment of blank incomprehension, and then some mechanism kicked in within her. Her spine straightened, a smile locked into place and she delivered the information with practiced precision while simulatenously extending one bed-tanned hand to offer me an information card and close with "Welcome to Metro!"

The reason for this sudden galvinisation became immedately clear.

No less than six cameramen had somehow - miraculously - appeared all around me from absolutely fucking nowhere. One lens was focused on my hand taking the card, another was hovering by ear to catch every detail of her sweaty-toothed smile while the remaining four covered her cohort, my head, the desk, and the random politico that had turned up to associate himself with this Bold New Venture.

> SAY "WOULD I BE BETTER OFF GETTING A TRAM?"

I couldn't hear her response. It was whispered through that compressed smile, her eyes doing their best not to glance uncertainly at the cameras while quietly screaming "Please go away."

> SAY "WHICH TRAM DO I NEED?"

Again, subaudible, paralysed.

> SAY "WHICH TRAM DO I NEED?"

"Ask Yarra Trams."

Ah. On the launch morning of the new company, this face-bot just recommended the services of the competition, three times, on camera. Whoops.

> SAY "THANKS."

I turn, and bump my nose off a camera.

>N
>D
>WAIT
>WAIT
>WAIT

( Platform 13. It may look bad here, but in real life it looks like a Soviet-era prison railroad.  )

I have a suspicion that "Welcome to Metro!" is code for "Welcome to ten more years of the same substandard shit."

Also, I need to get a camera before Finland.

(no subject)

Tony fucking Abbott?!

NSFW. Funny, sad, telling, scary. [via damien_wise]

I'm going to take this moment to step prematurely into middle age and point out that between Michael Atkinson and Tony Abbott this country has gone to hell. In just twenty years I've watched Australia go from 'rumour', to 'flavour of the month', and is now quickly gallumphing toward 'joke.' Enough already.

Yes, it's a laugh that the Liberals (the Liberals are our conservative party. No, I don't get it either) are stumbling about with their pants around their ankles, but a weak Opposition equals a government with little accountability. No PM should know he has the next election in the bag. Also, this means Tony fucking Abbott is one election away from running the country. I know it's unlikely, but remember how shocked everyone was when John Howard won? The fact that he's gotten close enough to reach the keys is scary enough.