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Dec. 15th, 2010 12:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
camrogersI think I'm shifting back into that frame of mind where working from home is okay, provided that work happens once everyone else is asleep. If I'm not careful the sheer scope of everything I have to consider gets overwhelming, but if I focus on what's right in front of my face I'm okay. I don't have any choice but to trust that the cumulative effect of taking care of one thing after another will lead to my having built something I can live in.
I read a friend's screenplay today, and it's good. Really good, and very much something only they could have done. I'm really quite afraid that I've lost seven years worth of craft, that I'm so busy righting myself that I've got no objective perspective on what I'm creating. Dmetri was right though: your craft saves you. In relearning and applying the things that make a good story I feel like I'm also shifting the walls of my house into the configuration it's meant to hold. Like relearning good story structure flows into perspective about life and behaviour and some of the stupid crap I do without thinking. Defragging is probably as good a metaphor as any. Slowly. Piece by piece. That and exercise.
I have no idea where I'll be in ten years. None at all. All I know is there's one more step I can take, that's followed by one more step. Sounds wanky, but everything boils down to the fact that so far the ground holds. I really hope I don't end this life with a list of nearlies.
Got feedback from that second-stage interview. If I do this right then not getting that particular job, but the experience of sitting that particular interview, could get me a far better position that'll get me an ambulance position quicker. But it remains to be seen.
Penguin mailed out an invitation today. For a ghost story anthology. Me and a group of writers, many of whom have good profiles. I need to get onto this.
I read a friend's screenplay today, and it's good. Really good, and very much something only they could have done. I'm really quite afraid that I've lost seven years worth of craft, that I'm so busy righting myself that I've got no objective perspective on what I'm creating. Dmetri was right though: your craft saves you. In relearning and applying the things that make a good story I feel like I'm also shifting the walls of my house into the configuration it's meant to hold. Like relearning good story structure flows into perspective about life and behaviour and some of the stupid crap I do without thinking. Defragging is probably as good a metaphor as any. Slowly. Piece by piece. That and exercise.
I have no idea where I'll be in ten years. None at all. All I know is there's one more step I can take, that's followed by one more step. Sounds wanky, but everything boils down to the fact that so far the ground holds. I really hope I don't end this life with a list of nearlies.
Got feedback from that second-stage interview. If I do this right then not getting that particular job, but the experience of sitting that particular interview, could get me a far better position that'll get me an ambulance position quicker. But it remains to be seen.
Penguin mailed out an invitation today. For a ghost story anthology. Me and a group of writers, many of whom have good profiles. I need to get onto this.
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Date: 2010-12-14 10:41 pm (UTC)That sounds just like where my head is right now too. Unfortunately I have a really hard time of it keeping my mind off the big picture and focusing on the smaller stuff. Also with kids, I can't sleep when they're awake so by the time they're asleep I want to be asleep too, but the tension is such that I'm still awake well past my bedtime.
The one step at a time thing though, sounds like mindfulness meditation, so it's not surprising that it's working out well for you.
I need a defrag too. I think that's what deep sleep is for.
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Date: 2010-12-14 11:30 pm (UTC)